The story of my life, before it's even begun

Seriously, this pretty much fucking mirrors my life. Other than the dad being way more attractive in the movie, this is EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED. In fact, there's even a gag about the dick scaring the fetus during pregger fucking (you'll have to catch the full-length R-rated trailer that keeps getting pulled from YouTube). It's like Apatow read my blog, went back in time and wrote this movie. I should be getting executive producer credit on this shit, at least. Otherwise, I'm suing the motherfucker as soon as I'm out of this bitch.

Oh, and the penis thing - it's been over a month since I wrote that post and the dynamic has changed a bit. I've grown bigger than the cock, and the sight of my dad's manhood is slightly less disturbing now that I know I'm a girl. And you gotta be packing some San Fernando Valley-caliber heat to come anywhere near my swimming lane.

Still, there's really no way of getting used to the pounding and the awful grunting sounds mommy and daddy make. I'm just fucking glad I don't have to see their O-face.